Monday, 2 December 2013

Best of The Girl 5

Friday, 20 March 2009

Tonight my four-year-old explained that her toys were sliding down a dinosaur to escape. Escape what? I asked.

“They made this slide especially to escape from the naughty, naughty WELSH!” she said. If I’d been drinking something, I would have done a spit-take.

What Welsh, I asked? Who from Wales?

“ALL the Welsh!” she said. “They are the naughtiest of all!”

Why do you think so? I asked in even tones. Was someone on the telly talking about the Welsh? Whether on British or Irish TV, I thought, it’s not like there’s any hateful anti-Welsh rhetoric floating around Ireland.

“They just AAAARE,” she said.

We don’t know anyone around here from Wales, and I have no idea why my four-year-old has suddenly developed a prejudice against them. Actually, I told her gently, that’s not true -- most Welsh people are very nice. And there are a few naughty people everywhere -- you know that boy at your school?

“Yes,” she said, looking at me gravely. “He is naughty." She leaned closer and whispered, in conspiratorial tones, "Like the Welsh.”

Okay, I’m giving up tonight, I thought. She has no idea who the Welsh are – she might as well be discussing dragons. I’ll see if this comes up again, and sort it out.

Wednesday, 8 April 2009

Tonight, after a long day at work and on the bus, I got home to a four-year-old that had, apparently, eaten a wheelbarrow of sugar-coated espresso beans. After being bounced on repeatedly, playing games and giving many piggyback rides, I said, "This child is bouncing like a rubber ball." I turned to the Girl. "Why is that, sweetie?"

"Because that what childs are supposed to do," she said earnestly.


gretchen said...

oh, please keep these coming. they crack me up every single time. where do kids get this stuff? the one about 'the welsh' had me rolling on the floor. i have three grandsons, ranging in age from six to twelve and they never cease to astonish me. we are blessed, aren't we?

Anonymous said...

I'm guessing that the despised "Welsh" referred to an animal breed that misbehaved with others. There are Welsh ducks, Welsh terriers, Welsh sheep, etc. Someone may have had one or some that dominated other breeds of that species, and she found it unjust. I did know a Welsh terrier once that bit everyone for some unknown reason.